Genealogical Doldrums

I have been absent from my research lately, as I have been wrestling with my own genealogical demons. I have had the great opportunity to speak to family members who have been researching for years, and though many would be inspired--I am discouraged. They have been working so hard for years, even decades, and have so much wonderful information to share. I know that I do not have the passion for this kind of research. The research they have done, spanning continents and difficult letter-writing, ordering of records, and phone calls, is not a task that I am ready, or willing to undertake. I feel though, that anything less than 100% is a failure.

Perhaps if I were able to read more about the research that has been done, I would not feel the need to research these families anymore. I would be able to harness my energy on one or two family lines. (Remember, these get exponentially larger as you move up the chain.) For now, I will let my tree sit in stasis.

Celebrations

I love celebrating. There is nothing better than be able to honor a friend, or a great accomplishment! Being in the navy, there are so many great things to celebrate. A great friend came home from deployment this week, and even though it is not my hubby, it is still very sentimental. Its amazing to think how long he has been gone, and how hard it is for his wife to wait, but she is such strong woman, I think she handled her time better than I did, when Drew was gone last year. Us girls though, we stick together during those times, and I was so happy to be there to help her celebrate the boat's return.

Its unfortunate, how schedules work out sometimes. Though our husbands, both great friends have managed to miss each other for the better part of the last two years. They will continue to pass like ships in the night (ha ha, pun intended) until they separate from the navy.

There is such a group mentality in this lifestyle, and I suppose that is one aspect that I truly enjoy. Its nice to have such a great circle of friends, and although everyone has friends, this lifestyle presents so many challenges that so few people on the outside can understand.

Fears of the Dentist

I often wonder why going to the dentist is such a traumatic experience. I have always had pretty good teeth. I don't floss as much as the dentist tells me to, but who really does. But why are we all so scared of this man? Also, what drives people to a profession that spends all day looking at teeth?

I think about this today because I have an appointment very soon, and the teeth are about as good as they are going to get for today. I actually had an appointment scheduled two weeks ago. I had forgotten about it, but the dentist called and had to rechedule my appointment. I was relieved, because I didn't have the time to mentally prepare. I try to tell myself, that it is like any other medical physical. But truly my worst nightmares are all about my teeth. I have dreams (nightmares actually) that I have lost all my teeth. The worst one is where I am standing there talking to someone and I start spitting out my teeth, one at a time. What does this mean? For those of you who like to analyze your dreams, I could really use some help with this one.

Share your courage with me, I am off to the dentist. Hopefully, the teeth are here for three or four more decades. I am given hope by my great grandmother, who had all her teeth cavity free until she died at 86 years old. Until then, I will muster myself at that dentist chair biannually (not biennially for those pilots who are worried about that currency).

To post or not to post...

After blogging somewhat regularly for two months now, I am surprised at my new perception. It is interesting, to see the different things that people put in their blogs. Mine is occasionally "deep", always honest, but rarely hinges on the truly private details of my life. There are just certain things about me that the world doesn't need to know, and I wonder, what leads people to put some of those personal moments in the literary world?

There are all sorts of different types of blogs. Some include recipes or craft projects. Others are to share about a unique experience, but some others that I see,I do wonder why people choose to release their privacy to so many unknown individuals. Is it a cry for attention? Is it out of boredom? Does letting others know about your life suddenly make it more interesting?

Blogging is a nice way to keep family involved in your life especially if you live far away, but really do they need to know what you ate for breakfast, lunch and dinner? I do like, I can share my feelings here, and it is an easy way to let people know about the daily struggles I face. Perhaps this is an easy way for them to understand how I feel about certain events. But I do keep alot to myself, sometimes to avoid hurt feelings, or to keep priviledged information priviledged. Am I stifling myself, should I release all the boundaries. What does this really accomplish though?

Cows 'n Cones

I really love this place. It is a nice reminder of how simple life really is. Its kind of nice, because even when it smells rancid (the piggie sty after a rainy day will do this), its hard to worry about anything while here! I took the hubby up there tonight, this was his first time, but it was nice. We went with the yenta clan. We narrowly escaped the rain, but were going up anyway, and had a great time. How many places though, these days can you go and just enjoy being there?

Afterwords we took the noodle for a walk. It was very relaxing, and its nice to have these moments together. We do argue alot, however, about how the dog will behave (or not behave) if let off his leash. I have the opinion, that the dog will just run, because he does. The husband thinks that we can "train" the dog to just walk with us, or just go straight home. I guess I just don't get how its going to happen, since the act of letting him off the leash is not training him, its just an opportunity for me to get alot of exercise as we have to chase him around the neighborhood. I really worry, especially at night (because the Mack-Noodle is black), that the dog is going to get hit by a car or lost. Why must this always be a point of contention?

Set oven to 450F?

I am thoroughly annoyed. It is impossible to cook anything when you can not set the oven to anything less that 450 Degrees. I was planning to cook dinner for the husband tonight, but seeing as though my oven is currently not reliable for accurate cooking temperatures, I was forced to seek other options. The husband was on duty tonight, and I was invited to dine with him. Aloha Teriyaki was the solution for my lack of dinner. It turned out okay, but I know already it is going to be a huge pain in the but to have this fixced by the management company. I will also add, that my oven is so unfancy (cheap) that it doesn't even have a clock on it. In addition there is no safety feature on the burner knobs so a simple bump against the oven could put my house up in smoke. Yes, don't worry we are insured.

Switcheroo

It it certainly different going from having every Friday as a half day to working all day on Friday. It its hard to get in that routine, because Friday is the day that I like to wind down and start preparing for the weekend.

We are leaving for PA this weekend. I went down a few weeks ago, just me and the dog, but Drew hasn't been back since May, I think. It will be a nice weekend to get away. The husband managed to get away with some leave days. It is a good thing too, because we noticed that he had 47 days of leave accumuated, and with the amount that that boat is going to be "under da sea" it will be very difficult to use them.

The Hankering for a Mini-Me

I don't have this yet, but alot of my friends do. Some are younger than I, and I wish I understood. I know I will be super excited to be "Aunty-Licia" to all my friends' kids, but that alarm hasn't gone off in my head yet. I like to think that this is perfectly normal because although I do have alot of friends that are on the baby train, I have even more (is this a subconscious thing?) that are very committed to the "NK" part of DINK life. I think about the olden-days when the first baby came before the first anniversary, and wondered, is this due to boredom? Surely those women had more to do than wipe noses and bottoms all day?

The husband starts to worry whenever I spend too much time around some of the ladies with kids, for some reason, he thinks that this is going to have me wanting one. Truthfully though (and nothing against those wonderful mommies!) I go home, thankful that I get to plan my schedule around only me. Is this bad? A good friend says that you are ready to have kids when you can think of nothing else except wanting to be a mother. And I can think of so many other things. Does this make me a cold horrible person? I know so many people who long for nothing more than a baby, and here I am wanting to run as far away from that option as possible? I must be totally screwed up.

To all those ladies that have chosen motherhood, I have a great respect for you. To those ladies that had an "oh $hit" moment...don't worry, your kid will still grow up normally. And to those wonderful women that I enjoy cocktails and the regular GNO that doesn't require a babysitter, thank you for the encouragement!

P.S. If there were only one reason that I want a baby right now, its just so I can have a name to fill in on my family tree. I don't think that is a good reason to procreate.

Birthdays in the house

Drew's birthday was Tuesday. It ended up being great fun. He did have to work, but we did beer and pizza at our house on Tuesday evening with some friends, but somehow we ended up with more beer than we started with.

The birthday fairy surprised Drew with a new computer (and a few accessories) and a dartboard. The dartboard is not hung yet, but anxiously awaiting its new home in the garage very soon!

Thank you everyone for the phone calls and the birthday wishes!

Should be sleeping...

Okay, as titled...I should be sleeping. I have so much to do tomorrow, and probably not enough time. I need to get wrapping paper, so I can wrap the husband's trinkets. I just hope I get get up and out of the house by 9am tomorrow. If I can, that will put me on a good start to finishing everything. Although if it is anything like today...I won't even be mostly awake by nine. It was pure luck, that I was able to leave by 9:20, and I skipped the Mack-Noodle's morning walk. He did eventually get one when I came home from breakfast, but it is a good thing he is a big dog with a big bladder.

Sweet dreams to all who are reading.

I love days off...

I am very much enjoying my non-working days. I will for sure need a schedule sometme soon, but that day has not come yet, and I am not dissapointed.

A few of us went out for a birthday brunch this morning. It was a fun time to gab and enjoy a meal. Later we all ended up at the pool. I was a little worried when we got there. The pool was not very warm, and the were alot of dark clouds out, but the sun came out soon and we were able to enjoy a great afternoon. Ever since the pool, I have been experiencing a bit of neck pain, I am not sure what it is from, but hopefully I will be able to sleep it off tonight.

We had a great cookout tonight over at Mr. and Mrs. B's house. It was fun, and the dogs had a great time. I made my wonderful spinach and artichoke dip, and I have a little left for Drew to enjoy tomorrow when he comes home. He has duty tonight, and had to miss the BBQ, but at least he won't have duty on his birthday.

TGI Saturday

Every week, I look forward to the weekend. By Tuesday, I am itching for Saturday again. and its finally here. Its so nice to have quality time with the hubby. Those days are so few and far between now. When it finally comes, I feel like I need to make it count, but doing those silly little every day things are really the best.

We went shopping today. We got a whole bunch of gifts for birthdays that are coming up soon. And its nice to actually shop WITH the hubby. Of course, I always sign the card "Drew and Alicia," but most of the time it is me doing the shopping. So if you ever get a gift from me that you don't like, it was one of those rare occasions that I let the husband do the shopping.

We spent our evening vegging out with Indiana Jones. We found the trilogy at BJ's today, and decided to watch our favorite (Last Crusade). I really don't like the second one, it is just a bit two goofy for me. The new set includes alot of special features including a little blurb with all the Indiana Jones women. For dessert we enjoyed a wonderful piece of White Chocolate Mousse cake from Pauls Pasta (from Mystic Market) with a side of homemade strawberry ice cream. And let me just say, the strawberry went fabulously with the white chocolate. It is a combination that I will have to repeat in the future.

Identity

I like to think about the question "Who am I?" sometimes. I have thought about this many times, but inspired by a friend to ponder this in the literary world. I see so many women who identify themselves as a "navy wife", or as "Drew's wife", or as an occupation. Who are we really? Obviously we are different things for different occasions. But am I any different than before I married my husband. Yes my priorities have changed a bit, but I don't think so. Am I different than before I got my pilot's license? No, I don't think so. I am much cooler now, with a bigger ego, but still the same at heart. I know I am different than I was in High School, but I think of HS as a waiting room for the rest of my life. So maybe I am the person that "was" after high school and before college. Well, I think alot of college is who I am so, that has to be in there too. But also, I think that even though I don't identify myself as a "navy wife" I have grown alot and learned alot about myself through all of these experiences. Some of these lessons, I wished I could have avoided, but none-the-less, I think I have become a stronger person. I suppose I can say that I don't really like the question "Who am I." I am so many things all wrapped into one, I hope nobody asks me this question soon, because it might take me a while to tell them.