Lonely Evenings

Drew is working overnight tonight. He says he is not an "EDO," but an "EOOW". Those terms stand for Engineering Duty Officer, and Engineering Officer of the Watch. Supposedly there is a difference, but I don't quite understand it, other than EDO is usually when the boat is in port, and I get far fewer phone calls from him at work when he is the EOOW.

He left me and the dog here to watch the boob tube tonight. The dog is asleep on the couch, and I am sure to follow soon, but I think about all the women who are sitting at home alone tonight. A friend's husband recently left to go back to the sandbox. He was home for a few weeks for RnR. She is alone tonight. I sometimes get annoyed when people think that it is only the service member making a sacrifice for their country. Obviously I have not signed a contract for service to my country, but I think I get a pretty raw deal in the situation. I have made the decision to love and commit to a navy man, and although my contract is with him and not with the Department of Defense, my life is subject to the radical results of the decisions of people I have no way to influence. I am annoyed to hear the answer "based on the needs of the navy" to way to many questions. I am annoyed that I cannot plan a date with my husband more than a week out, and it is very unnerving to think that I will be living somewhere new in two or three years, and I have no idea where that might be.

I constantly remind myself that noone really knows where they will be three years from now, but honestly, I will have no control when that time comes around. I might be lucky if I can chose the date the movers come pack me out. I am not complaining about having to move, I just wish I could see the day where moving is my decision, and I have more than 14 days to decide where I am going to live for the next three years.

I can go to sleep tonight, and look forward to the husband coming home sometime before I head off to work, but he will be gone again before I get home. I know that his work is difficult, and his days are much longer than mine, but I wonder if he understands what is like always to be waiting.